Right now I feel like my life is full of questions.
Will it be a boy or a girl?
How much weight am I going to gain?
When do I start buying things vs. waiting to see what we'll be given?
Will everything look ok on the ultrasound this week?
Should I get an epidural?
Will I be a good mother?
When will my baby bump actually begin showing?
Will I get varicose veins? **Please no!!**
Will I stay at home or keep working?
How will I make new friends?
Will I have gestational diabetes?
Will I pass out the next time I have my blood drawn? *I really don't want to!!*
Most of these questions will be unanswerable until the time comes and I just have to buckle down and do it. I tend to be a black and white person, hesitant to change, and anxious about the unknown -- and that's exactly what these nine months hold for me. Sure, I can ask other mothers, even my own, for advice, answers, encouragement and I do. But no two people are the same. There are no blanket answers when it comes to pregnancy -- yes, you will begin to show at 20 weeks, you will gain 24 pounds, etc. There are no guarantees -- you'll see, everything will be ok, I'm sure your baby will be healthy. There are no black and white answers -- yes, you should stay home to raise your child, of course you'll make new friends! Some days (today being one of them) are simply more overwhelming than others. The fact that I don't have a plan, a definition, answers ... control...
On days like this I have two choices: #1. Choose the downward spiral of the unknown, feel sorry for myself, and put an overwhelming burden on myself to try to figure everything out. #2. Realize I can rely fully on the omniscience of God. He already knows the plans for my (our) life. Believe that he truly loves and cares for us: "If you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him." Matthew 7:11 If I need wisdom I can certainly ask: "If you need wisdom -- if you want to know what God wants you to do -- ask him, and he will gladly tell you. He will not resent your asking." James 1:5
So it's not a matter of not getting answers to my questions, it's a matter of patiently waiting for those answers. They will come, that is for sure, I just have to trust that when the day comes, I will be ready to respond.
To life... full of giving up my need for control over my life.
Will it be a boy or a girl?
How much weight am I going to gain?
When do I start buying things vs. waiting to see what we'll be given?
Will everything look ok on the ultrasound this week?
Should I get an epidural?
Will I be a good mother?
When will my baby bump actually begin showing?
Will I get varicose veins? **Please no!!**
Will I stay at home or keep working?
How will I make new friends?
Will I have gestational diabetes?
Will I pass out the next time I have my blood drawn? *I really don't want to!!*
Most of these questions will be unanswerable until the time comes and I just have to buckle down and do it. I tend to be a black and white person, hesitant to change, and anxious about the unknown -- and that's exactly what these nine months hold for me. Sure, I can ask other mothers, even my own, for advice, answers, encouragement and I do. But no two people are the same. There are no blanket answers when it comes to pregnancy -- yes, you will begin to show at 20 weeks, you will gain 24 pounds, etc. There are no guarantees -- you'll see, everything will be ok, I'm sure your baby will be healthy. There are no black and white answers -- yes, you should stay home to raise your child, of course you'll make new friends! Some days (today being one of them) are simply more overwhelming than others. The fact that I don't have a plan, a definition, answers ... control...
On days like this I have two choices: #1. Choose the downward spiral of the unknown, feel sorry for myself, and put an overwhelming burden on myself to try to figure everything out. #2. Realize I can rely fully on the omniscience of God. He already knows the plans for my (our) life. Believe that he truly loves and cares for us: "If you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him." Matthew 7:11 If I need wisdom I can certainly ask: "If you need wisdom -- if you want to know what God wants you to do -- ask him, and he will gladly tell you. He will not resent your asking." James 1:5
So it's not a matter of not getting answers to my questions, it's a matter of patiently waiting for those answers. They will come, that is for sure, I just have to trust that when the day comes, I will be ready to respond.
To life... full of giving up my need for control over my life.
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