"Why do you do it?"

In June, we visited family in CO and someone asked us, "Why do you eat gluten free?" It's hard not to feel like a burden when we visit others -- we have six people in our family, gluten free items are more expensive, harder to find, and {according to some} not as tasty. So it's hard to not apologize or feel bad or like an inconvenience. But I'm getting a little braver and believing in myself more. So here's a little more to the story... 

Way back in July of 2010, Jeremiah took a trip to Africa. *But wait* [even prior to this, it was an issue, but we never really attempted to do much to accommodate it. It just felt mildly annoying.] While he was in Ethiopia he got sick and was given a very strong antibiotic to "kill the bug", but when he returned home his gut microbiome, was never the same. We discovered this one night when I made a delicious chicken-velveeta-broccoli supper and, without being too graphic, after spending an unreasonable amount of time in the bathroom, let's just say, I never made it again. After this unforgettable night, Jeremiah began doing his research on milk alternatives, yogurt, bacteria strains, kefir... basically a deep dive into what he could have, what would help heal his gut, why he was having such strong reactions to dairy (as well as other high fat foods such as pork, avocados, hot dogs, etc.). While he did all this, I didn't make the changes with him. My stance was, "I'm sorry you're going through this, but no, I like all those things so... you're on your own, buddy." Super supportive wife. 

Fast forward to August 2015 and we realized Zoe (a newborn at the time) seemed to have a reaction when I was eating dairy. So, much to my dismay, I made the switch. My first foray was into cashew milk because I already knew I didn't like almond or coconut, especially when eating my daily cereal. It helped with the transition, because I felt like it tasted most similar to regular dairy milk. Once I removed all the dairy, her crying and screaming dramatically decreased. I was sold on this outcome alone. 

Not long after, we felt like Levi seemed bloated and was in some pain which made it hard for him to control his emotions. Once we moved to KC in 2017, we took him to a chiropractor and she recommended removing dairy and gluten from his diet. As he was only 3 years old at the time, we decided we would do this as a family. So in November 2017, we took the plunge. I was 8 months pregnant at the time, the holidays were coming, and people kind of knew me for my baking abilities. I was feeling rather intimidated and a bit sad because I knew some of my holiday favorite foods would not taste quite so, tasty, that year. But as we began to overhaul our diet -- it wasn't quite as big since we had already cut most dairy, so it was mainly the gluten at this point -- we noticed changes, and quick! My eczema was gone. Behavior issues that the kids had been having, lessened. Jeremiah's gut began to feel better. I wasn't as tired. Jeremiah wasn't as tired. Levi's face began to look less bloated and even now, we all get sick less than we used to. We felt the changes and the changes felt good. 

How do we live this out long term? For awhile, Jeremiah and I were adamant that we were 100% all the time, no mistakes. But now that we've been doing this for almost 5 years, we are trying to find the line. And sometimes we disagree on where the line is. Jeremiah tends to ride the more conservative approach, but this makes sense since he is the one who is more sensitive and has pain and repercussions if he doesn't. It's been hard too because the kids have been so young up to this point, we couldn't get much feedback from them aside from what we observed. Now we try to ask questions after we eat something out of the ordinary. We try to relax when we are in a place that is new and we can't manage to get them something to eat that "meets our standards". But it is a hard line to follow because it's all based on our best judgment. 

But what does it all mean? It means we pay attention. It means that we want to take our health seriously. This is the only body, the only life we get. Technically, could we eat gluten and dairy? Yep, we sure can. We're not allergic. But we really feel convicted that God has given us the wisdom and understanding that for our family, we want to do better. I've read too many books, since we started this journey 12 years ago, that talk about how well our bodies can adapt, process, manage all of these foods... right now. But over time, the toll it takes on our bodies to do that work, particularly if we have an intolerance, does damage to our body that is irreversible. Just because we are not seeing a problem now, doesn't mean we say, "Oh who cares? I'm young! My body can handle this!" We are looking to the future for how we want to treat our bodies, how we want to feel when we're in our 60s, 70s, and 80s. Some days are harder than others. We've taken our own treats to birthday parties -- will we offend the host? Are our kids missing out? Why can't life just be easier?! Ultimately, our heart behind these changes, as a family, is to help our kids make their own healthy choices in the future. Is it sometimes worth it to eat something that might hurt our tummies later? Can we enjoy foods without gluten and dairy? {Yes!} How do our bodies feel after eating certain food items? It seems like it will be a lifelong journey for all of us. A journey of awareness, treating our bodies kindly, and supporting one another. 

I plan to do some follow-up posts about how I bake and cook now that we eat this way. I hope it might help others who might want to try, but haven't felt sure where to start. Some days it can feel overwhelming -- we eat nearly all meals at home, there are always tons of dishes because even snacks are hard to find so I make those too, there's chopping, cutting, prepping, cooking, and more. If you have questions I'd love to hear them! Or give me some ideas for possible future topics if you're interested. 

To life... full of delicious food!       

About Me

 I think blogging might be over. I mean, I used to be a daily visitor to several cooking blogs in years' past -- Pioneer Woman, Mel's Kitchen Cafe, Six Sister's Stuff, and many more. I perused and printed off many, many recipes that I still use to this day. So it was indeed not time wasted. I had a surplus of time in those early years of marriage that I was unaware of until having 4 kids and moving 6 times in a span of 5 years. But it is summertime once more and, by choice, I have at least 90 minutes each week that I spend mowing our yard; it gives me time to reflect and think my own thoughts, a rare feat in a household of six. In high school days, I would write poetry, albeit poorly. I joined the "bake and blog sensation" from about 2008 - 2012 and enjoyed chatting away about what I was baking and sharing pictures. I like to write meaningful posts on Instagram or Facebook and try to inspire or encourage others. 100 characters is usually not enough space for me to go into the detail I like. But sometimes I'll share something that is particularly meaningful to me and not receive the response I was hoping for, which I realize is unintentional, but still hurts a bit because I've assigned an emotion or hope to it, sometimes without even realizing it. Writing is my forte, more than verbal communication. Sure, give me a good one-on-one and I'm great at asking questions, talking, listening; it's really the best way to get to know me. But once you expand that out to two, three sets of eyes that I know are listening and watching, I retreat back into my shell because I have a harder time monitoring the body language, assessing the answers, watching for clues as to how the conversation is going and I end up not saying much at all. Case in point, a few weeks ago, I was onstage for worship team, and the leader asked me to just "say something into the mic". So here's what I said, "    ". Yep. Nothing. This is what happens to my brain when I'm 1) unprepared, 2) put on the spot, 3) there's more than one person listening. The ironic thing is, from time to time, I actually "prepare to be spontaneous". I will wait for your laughter to subside... 

Yes, often as I'm taking walks, I'll think about interesting things I have seen or read, funny things my kids have said, and I will rehearse these things for such moments as described above. But apparently my preparations were in vain because not one of those recitations arose to the top when put on the spot. The most frustrating part for me is that usually I do have a thought or something on mind. I think I am a fairly interesting person. I am becoming more well-read as I get older. But I have a very powerful filter on my mind, that allows very little to pass through without reflection and wondering how my response might affect others. This is a helpful feature in some areas of life, keeping me out of trouble. But other times it is a frustration and burden that makes me feel that I'm alone, outside of the circle. 

So here I am, feeling the urge to write again. I think perhaps I will challenge myself to write a post each week. Oh, I know, it will be extremely difficult, for you, dear readers, to wait seven whole days between posts ;) The challenge is really for myself because I do like the act of writing whether with pen and paper or screen and keyboard. I feel like the pressure is off a bit because I plan to share the link to my blog posts on Facebook, but no one has to take the time to read it unless they want to, and my expectations will be lower. That way when I see a post only has 2 readers (Hi, Mom and Dad!) I won't flounder as much as previous attempts. I'm really hoping to write for myself, but if someone wants to read about a particular topic I share, they might be encouraged or ask me a question. That has always been my goal. I realize I don't have a huge circle of influence. I don't have a 'K' behind my numbers of followers on Instagram. But I do have friends and family. And I care very much, more than I'll ever say to you in person. But perhaps, through my writing, I will be able to share a bit more, and practice being ok with showing others who I am.    

To life... full of words!