A Decade of Marriage

I'm not one to shy away from saying life can be tough. Parenting. Moving. Marriage.

There are certainly joys and adventures that come with each experience! And I believe life is made richer through change and being brave and walking through your fear. Sometimes I wish more people had shared their stories with me. Given me a better idea of what to expect as I grew up. There's no way you can prepare someone else for what they will experience in their own life story, but connecting with others, being vulnerable, saying "you're not alone" is beyond valuable; it creates significance in our lives, helping us to not feel alone and afraid.

I never mind trying to give the "full picture"; not just giving the highlight reel. My typical anniversary posts usually convey the highs and the lows, the good and the bad, the easy road and the challenging one. Because it's true. Marriage is hard work and can rub you ragged like sandpaper and some of us (like me) have some pretty rough edges.

But today, on this, our 10th anniversary, I want to share the good. I want to be a little sappy. I want to tell you that marriage can be wonderful and worth jumping into with both feet and worth fighting for. {This is going to be a bit difficult for me to write because I'd much rather be sarcastic and sassy, so "Hello, welcome to the softer side of Tricia." :)}

Daytona Beach, FL -- Fall 2016

To Jeremiah, A Reflection on our Years together --

We met in college and there was an immediate spark.
You bared your heart to me as you drove me home, ready to date me.
I said "thank you" and got out of the car. Afraid to let someone in. I was busy.

We started to date, looked at the stars in the park on dark nights. Talked about hopes and dreams. Still I was afraid. When would the other shoe drop? I was waiting to be disappointed. But instead you asked me to be your wife; with a ring in a sock in a living room. It was simple. I hesitated. What if I was making a mistake? Isn't divorce genetic? I said "Yes" doubting myself every minute. Lucky you.

I had never dreamed of my wedding day. But we put it together, piece by piece, and made it ours.

Over the years we've moved, a lot. We've failed at things. We've hurt each other. We've grown up. And when I think how God has woven our lives together, I can't be anything but grateful. You believed in me when I didn't. You loved me when I was afraid. I didn't know anything was missing from my life until I met you. You are my constant support, holding me up when life knocks us down. Taking my hand when I don't want to take another step. Your love is quiet and constant, waiting for me to slow down and be still and allow myself to feel it. You give me permission to rest when I don't think I should. You wash the dishes so my hands won't hurt and itch and be red. You serve me faithfully. You choose to be kind even when I push you away. There aren't any requirements I must meet for you to love me; no hairstyle, body shape, style of clothing -- and I've had a lot of them -- changes the way you feel, you still call me beautiful, and mean it.

I still like it when we hold hands and sit near each other on the couch when we watch a movie or TV show. It makes me smile when you open the door for me, even though I nearly beat it out of you while we were dating with my prideful, independent remarks of "I can open my own door!" followed by an eye roll. Who knew that such a small gesture really showed more kindness rather than taking anything away from me.

We've grown up, together, these past 10 years. Oh yes, we know how to push each other's buttons and shut each other down with a simple phrase that cuts like a knife. But we've also learned that sometimes holding your tongue is worth the effort. That saying an encouraging word rather than a critical one is worth the creativity it takes to form it.

We are better together than we are apart. Living our life together has made us stronger, braver, united. You make me want to be a better person, for you, for me, for our family. Our reliance on each other, and ultimately God, has woven our cord of 3 strands so tightly, we will not be easily broken. I love you more today than I believed possible at our wedding 10 years ago. I love our life together and think that the years ahead are full of promise, adventure, support, and love. Happy Anniversary!