January Chills

We're having freezing rain here today, so it seemed a good day to stay inside and write down a short remembrance of our week. It was pretty typical for us --- school, martial arts, piano lessons, eating, and chores. We spent less time outside than usual as it was pretty cold, but I still pushed them out the door for at least a few minutes each day until today.

Lots of lego time. 

Working on letters and all those important scribbles. White boards are the best! 

Sister Selfie 

This weekend we're hoping to see some friends we haven't seen since we moved away from Ft. Worth back in 2012! I'm playing keyboard at church on Sunday morning and hoping the sore throat that started this morning will be over by then :(  Off to have some tea! 

To life... full of icy, wintry days.

January Fun

We're enjoying a snow day today, Saturday! We ate waffles and played outside this morning and watched "Frozen" during lunch.

The Fab 4 shouting "Snow Day!" 

Marshall is growing up too! 

Yesterday (1/10) I took Naomi out for her first official special time. We ate lunch at Chick-Fil-A, picked up some piano books from Meyer Music for one of my piano students, and then finished off with hot cocoa at Starbucks. I forget how quiet those first few years of special dates are because I'm so used to the every day noise from living in a house with 5 others. She was quiet, observant, and a bit overwhelmed by all the people at Chick-Fil-A. At Meyer Music, she wanted to check out all the ukuleles in the corner, but when I asked her to stop and just look, she restrained herself and stared at them. The cashier asked her how she was doing, and she held up her 2 fingers to let her know how old she was :) At Starbucks, we saw some friends from church. Landon asked her how she was doing, and she quietly replied, "good". It was so sweet. It's fun to hear her voice slowly coming through, especially in new situations. 

It was a rainy and cold day, so hot cocoa was just what she needed! We read her new book {on table} that she received in her kid's meal at CFA. 

She ate some of her ketchup with a fork :) So lady-like. 

These special dates are so important to me because I tend to get swept up in the daily grind and can group all the kids together and forget to see them as individuals. I want them to feel seen and heard by me as they grow up. We've been doing these dates since Zoë was born, but I didn't feel like I had a good consistent schedule. Now I've put them in rotation on my phone so I can remember which child's turn it is each month. So they each get 3 dates with me each year, plus a date with both Jeremiah and I right around their birthday. Sometimes it doesn't feel like near enough, but I remind myself it's the consistency over the long haul that will add up to make a difference in their lives. 

To life... full of snowy days and special dates.  

On the Brink of Death

Dramatic title, much?!?! Ha, I know. But it was a thought I was pondering a few nights ago, just within the first week of my new no social media resolution. We're only 9 days into the new year, but I've already noticed a stabilizing to my mental health. I think one of the biggest components for my anxiety was the feeling of imminent danger/death for every decision I made. In years' past, I too have shared difficult moments in life, often reaching out for support when we lived far from family or friends, on social media; and it was a source of comfort and encouragement when people would respond and reach out. So I do understand the reason people share their stories, the good and the bad. But it seems for me, that I was reaching the point where it felt like everyone, everywhere was sick or dying. {I realize, in the grand scheme of life, we are all dying and it's a fact that someday we all will. But living in constant fear of it is more my point here.} I started layering their stories onto mine. I would put myself in their shoes and wonder how I might respond in such a tragic situation. I would imagine what it would be like to be terminally sick, how would I be feeling? Would I respond well or lose it?

~~~ The homeschool mom who had ovarian cancer for 2 years and fought hard, and found joy in the midst, and died in 2019. ~~~The 7 year old girl who fell off a golf cart and suffered a tragic and traumatic brain injury in August and is still recovering. ~~~The well-known Christian author and mom who went to the hospital with a fever and cough and didn't come back out alive. ~~~The child who was vaccinated and suffered an injury to their brain. ~~~ The mom who found her 3 year old unconscious on the bedroom floor in the middle of the night and resuscitated her and took her to the hospital and found out she had a tumor and then it miraculously healed and then the U.S. required her to continue chemo treatments, so they left the states.~~~ 

There are so many stories. There are so many choices. I believe thoroughly in research, being aware, finding answers, searching for truth. There are choices I've made because other people enlightened me and I am thankful. But some of the day to day choices I was trying to make became almost excruciating... if I feed this food to my children, am I causing them to have a stomachache? And ultimately creating conditions for an autoimmune disease? Which will lead to a shortened life expectancy? My child's teeth are coming in too early... will this lead to dental problems the rest of their life? Do they have so many cavities because I didn't brush their teeth enough? Because I let them have too much sugar? Because I didn't give them enough mineralization? Or because I let the dentist put on fluoride at the last visit? Or because I don't use a toothpaste that is fluoridated?

It's exhausting.

Not only that, but it was keeping me from being present in my own life. To be able to actually SEE the people in my life and assess what was/is best for them in the current moment. To seek God's wisdom in decisions for our family. To trust my own instincts as to knowing what was best for myself and my children.

Upon reflection, this might be one of my biggest break-throughs and one of the best ways I'll be able to heal this year. I have done tons of research, received lots of input, been inspired, encouraged, and informed. Now it's time to sift through what I have received, toss out what isn't needed or doesn't work, and move forward in health, bravery, and faith.

To life... full of sifting and shifting. (I remembered my sign-off without looking back :))

Also, a picture. Naomi is starting to miss a few naps nowadays, so this is how we found her one evening around 7:30 pm...

Happy New Year!

Here we are, 3 days into 2020 and I'm trying to figure out how to compose an interesting, coherent post whilst directing children...  "no, that doesn't go on the couch", "Please be quiet so I can think", and "No, you may not go check on your sleeping sister." I feel that at one time, I could be quite creative in my writing, but alas those muscles have atrophied and I must start again. For now, I will post some pictures from the week and think about how I want to proceed in this space.

On New Year's Eve, Jeremiah's mom and grandma were with us to ring in the New Year. We played games, ate lots of rice krispie treats and popcorn, and watched movies. Zeke made it to midnight for the first time, which was exciting! Now he has asked to stay up until midnight again, my little night owl.

Grandma and Naomi ready to play Sequence 

10:30 pm -- one last snack and getting tired faces 

Jeremiah and his Grandma finishing up some more dishes! 

 On New Year's Day we had brunch at Teresa's house and took down most of our Christmas decorations! The next day, we visited the KC Zoo. The sun was shining and it was not bad for being outside! We decided to visit the Australia area because we found out the Red Panda had had triplets about 6 months age and Levi requested to see the new Tree Kangaroo exhibit he noticed on the zoo map.

This little guy was hanging out right next to the train tracks

Showing me their monkey faces 

Our favorite way to end our Zoo trips, the carousel 

Aunt Teresa helping out the girls up ahead 

Thank you to those of you who are going to follow along and read my blog this year. I hope to create a space that might inspire, make you smile, and occasionally learn something new. How did I previously sign off? I'll have to go back and read a few long ago posts. In the meantime, if you haven't read some of my previous posts, the top read posts show up along the left side of the blog, if you're reading from the computer; not sure if you'll be able to see those from a phone. Have a great weekend! 

On the Cusp of a New Year

Well folks, it's been quite some time since I've written a blog post that doesn't have to do with a child's development or birthday. Over the past month or so I've been mulling over an idea, taking myself off of social media. Sometimes it seems scary and overwhelming and other times it feels like it might be a relief! I think I've discovered that what I appreciate most about social media is the remembering -- seeing pictures of my kids and family and remembering what has happened in years past; a digital diary of sorts. For this reason, I've continued to use Facebook and Instagram and have been hesitant to eliminate them. I also realize that many people do, in fact, care about seeing the kids grow up and are interested in knowing what we are up to. On the other hand, with my continued use there has been {self-imposed} drama and increased anxiety. I've taken a few week and month long breaks, and I've found increased productivity in other areas of my life -- staying caught up with laundry, reading more books than I have previously, etc. Which, of course, are wonderful by-products. So I found myself with a conundrum of sorts, how to find a balance between the pros and cons.

Our Family on Christmas Eve 2019 

Then, it hit me, my blog! A way to stay more private and avoid so much comparison {worrying about the number of likes and comments each post receives} and yet, the people who want to stay connected with me will be able to. Winning, yes?! Plus, writing does in fact help me process my thoughts and may help me achieve some of the goals I have created for this new year. I have not decided how often I'll be able to write and post, it may ebb and flow as time allows. But if you wish to follow along this year as I embrace a change and try something new for myself and my family, please do. I love the connection that technology allows us to have, even when living miles apart. Wishing you all a Happy New Year! 

Happy 6th Birthday, Levi!

My dear Levi, you are 6 years old today! There is snow on the ground, you've been riding your new scooter around the house, and we're getting ready to go see the movie "Playing with Fire" this afternoon and enjoy birthday dinner with you. How do I summarize a whole year? How do I keep track of the multitude of things you've said that were funny or brilliant? This year has been a big year of growth and maturity for you. You are regulating your emotions better, expressing yourself more clearly, and have become a great helper!

 Birthday Interview -- December 17, 2019 
What is your favorite color? Purple and red
... movie? Wreck-It Ralph
... TV Show? Green Eggs and Ham
... Book? Flash Saves the Day
... Fruit? Bananas
... Animal? Cheetahs and lions and tigers and leopards
... thing to do every day? *Points to his scooter* ride my scooter!
... about Naomi? When she hugs me when I'm hurt.
... Zoë? when she plays peekaboo with me.
.... Zeke? When he plays with me and lets me build stuff with his own Legos.
... Mommy? When we have special time!
.... Daddy? When we go fishing! Woohoo!
What do you want to be when you grow up? Policeman or a Zoo Keeper
What do you like most about homeschooling? Doing my new books from humans.
What do you like most about KidCity? Everything!
What is your favorite food? Pasta

Your new LL Bean sleeping bag! 

 - You are learning to recognize and write your letters and numbers. We read aloud stories most every day during snack time. You enjoy the history stories and activities we do together. We play games, do arts and crafts, spend time in nature, learn hymns and habits, memorize Bible verses, and talk about how to live a healthy life. You are learning every day and I love that we are homeschooling and spending time together and creating a family culture that promotes cooperation, empathy, and a love of the outdoors!

Daddy and I worked on your birthday cake together this year! You seemed really happy with it. Holding your new cheetah "Fluffy" which you picked out at the Zoo on Saturday

Birthday party 12/15/19

 - You loved practicing for your song on stage and did a wonderful job remembering the actions and singing along. You were even careful to step back a little so you wouldn't run into the kids next to you.

You did an awesome job singing on stage at church! 

- You are very aware of the emotions and actions of those around you. You stand up for those who are being picked on or hurt and have a very strong sense of justice. You enjoy "peace and quiet" as you told us at your birthday party. Although, you seem to have a lot of fun when we're all noisy and listening to loud music as well!

KC Zoo trip -- watched Santa deliver presents to animals around the zoo. 12/14

Gingerbread House Cookie 

Mrs. Malia painted your faces at our small group Christmas party 

 - Within the last month, you learned to ride Zeke's bike! You'd been riding your balance bike for a long time, and I think once you saw Zeke learn to pedal and ride his bike, you thought it must be time for you to do it as well. :) {Not competitive at all} You fly down our hill in the back yard. I'll be interested to see how you do out on a trail. Especially since you'll be getting your very own bike tomorrow. {Shh!}

Pony ride at the Fall Fun Night at Alldredge Orchards 

Spiderman! 

 - You are a big fan of Superheroes! When we go to the library, you always pick out books that are written like comic strips; books about batman, spiderman, superman, the Avengers, and more. Your attention span has really grown and I'm glad you're able to sit and listen for longer stretches of time.

Picking out pumpkins at Red Barn Farm 

Jiu Jitsu stripes are a big deal! 

 - As of last night, 12/16, you have completed 80 classes for Jiu Jitsu! After you complete the next 20, you'll be participating in your first ever Bully Battle against your teacher, Mr. BJ. He'll act like a bully and you'll have to remember all the moves you have learned and protect yourself against him for 3 minutes in order to earn your first belt, a yellow one. We have it scheduled for March 25. At that point you'll have been taking jiu jitsu for an entire year! You have learned how to sit and listen, slow down your actions, tell a grown up what's going on instead of fighting back, and have gained lots of strength and confidence. I am so proud of all your hard work!

Working on your artsy side 

Catching bugs at Grandma's house 

Swim lessons went well this summer! 

Levi Olin, you love other people, talk to everyone, and are learning to make friends. Pretty sure you're an extrovert! Sometimes your energy seems boundless, but you are learning to reign it in at the right moments. Other people have told me you have great manners, which is a relief, because the past several months we've really worked on eliminating "poop head" from your vocabulary :oP You're not afraid of much. We rode on the Ring of Fire at Parkville Days in August -- not sure you'll ever ride it again, but you wanted to try it and you did. Probably not the best ride for a 5 year old to take, but since you are tall for your age you were permitted! You started fishing with Daddy this year and you LOVE it! You seem to be a natural as well because you have caught several fish already. You seem to be a natural around most all animals which always makes for an adventure when we spend time outside. You help around the house by letting the chickens out in the morning, checking for eggs, helping with dishes, vacuuming, feeding the cat, cleaning up the toy room, and tidying. You like when we have fires in the back yard and play hide and "Zeke" as you call it. Sometime you and I butt heads because we are similar in the way we view the world and handle our emotions. But hopefully we can spur each other on to loving big and always being kind. I love you so much and can't wait to see what the next year together will bring for you and our family! Love, Mommy

Naomi is TWO!

Happy Birthday Naomi Irene! You are two years old today!

Big Sis & Little Sis on Halloween

 - Your hair is curly and beautiful! I love working with it, but you do not like me doing so. You leave in bows and ponytails well for me, but not the headbands.

Fall Fun Night at Alldredge Orchards 

 - You say so many words, especially at home with your family; around others, not so much. When we go places, especially new places with new people, it takes you about an hour or so to start branching out and moving away from me. You are saying a few phrases too. You love pointing out animals, particularly horses, dogs, and birds. You also like to point out the moon and airplanes. When you really want my attention, you grab my head with your hands and make me look at your face.

Heading to Maryville for NWMSU homecoming parade! 

 - You take one afternoon nap each day, and sleep overnight from about 9 pm - 7 am. You are still nursing to sleep! I have been shocked you've lasted this long! You are sleeping better, so I am too, and I'm so very thankful!

Pumpkin picking at Weston Red Barn Farm

 - You have begun to play more with your siblings, so I am able to do a few more things around the house and focus on homeschooling. You don't love to ride in the stroller much anymore, you like to walk like the rest of us. You do pretty good on our W+F hikes and I still get to carry you in the back carrier for those! Your attention span is increasing and you are sitting to listen to books for longer stretches. You still aren't very interested in TV or movies, which I am ok with! Now to wean your siblings off as well...

She found the pacifier and now she thinks it's fun to use it. Ha! 

 - You like to play the piano and dance to music. When we get in the van, if I don't turn on the radio quick enough, from the back seat I hear you demand, "Music!"

Perfecting her selfie :o) 

 - I have already painted your finger and toenails several times since Big Sis has hers done.

"Painting" with water -- she wants to do what everyone else is doing! 

 - You like to stay up with Mommy and Daddy and eat our snacks while we watch Netflix. I think you feel pretty special sitting with us. You like eating our oatmeal, cake mugs, bananas with melted chocolate and pb, apples, and nuts. Also, you may or may not drink more coffee from my mug than any of the other kids ever have. Who can be sure?!?! ;)

Naomi loves her Bubba! 

 - You play a little differently with each of your siblings. Recently, Levi has been chasing you and growling and you back away and say, "Scared! Scared!" which is so sweet and sad at the same time. Also, great job expressing yourself!

The face you made when you'd been in the car sitting all the way home from Colorado! 

 - You have begun to carry your baby Lena everywhere! You call for "Baby" at the table, from the bed, anytime you suddenly remember her and want her. It's very sweet! Tonight (11/10) you fed her some of your cracker at suppertime.

She loved her first carnival ride at Parkville Days in August

She loves to give me this face. 

She now has her own pair of headphones... captivated! 

Learning to snap green beans! 

Naomi, you are just the sweetest, most darling little baby girl! I want to squeeze you and hug you and kiss your little cheeks. You are indeed living up to your name -- both pleasant and peaceful! I pray we are able to continue helping you find your gifts and talents and natural abilities and help them grow and blossom in the coming years. You scream loud and smile big and generally get your way. Oh dear. But I cannot imagine our lives without you and cannot wait to see what this next year with you brings! Love, Mommy